I was having a little trouble figuring out the library database, and finding articles for my topic, but I finally figured it out and found what I believe to be the most helpful articles yet. The first article I found was
Relationships with Step-parents. This article talks about the struggles children have relating to their step-parents, as well as the struggles the step-parents face trying to build relationships with their step-children. They did a study and spoke with a number of participants about how their lives had been affected by the introduction of a step-parent, at what age this happened, and how they felt about the relationship between the two of them. They found that after a divorce, many children are not ready nor are they willing to try and build a relationship with a non-biological parent figure. Many children struggle in school and social aspects because of their lives not only being disrupted by a divorce but also now by someone new coming in and trying to replace their lost parent. Although some of the children did report having good relationships with their step-parents, the majority of them did not. Others reported that the relationship either started off good or bad, but ended the opposite. The major reason most of the children disliked their step-parent or was unwilling to try and have a relationship with them, was because they didn't like that they tried to discipline them, they didn't feel that was there place. The one thing that I really liked about this article was it not only answered many of my questions, but it also listed off some ways to try and prevent a bad relationship outcome between step-parent, and step-child, which I thought was very helpful. They say that if you are a step-parent the best thing you can do to bond with your step-child is to be supportive, not try to push them into viewing you as their parent, don't try to discipline them, and to be laid-back, more of a friend than parent. In some ways I don't agree with this, I believe there is a time to be a parent, and a time to be a friend to your child. However, in a step-parent light, I believe it is slightly more acceptable to do so.
The other article I found I also found on the library database on
The Effects of Divorce on Children . This article didn't necessarily provide any other information for me, that I hadn't already learned other places, but a few things I noticed that I thought were interesting were that they referenced to an article I discussed on my last post by Judith Wallerstein and that they believed her findings to be more accurate than others because of her approach. Also that the numerous studies have been done on this particular subject, but none of them have the same results. Some believe that divorce greatly impacts children and others believe that it has an insignificant impact on them. I also found many answers to my questions in this article, and found it helpful that they also listed ways to help you children cope with the impacts of divorce. They found that children who still remained in contact with the more absent parent, and other family members tied to this parent to be better off. Also they believe that the less conflict there is between the two ex-spouses, lesser the impact of the situation will be on the child. So although we may not be able to prevent divorce from happening, at least there are steps we can take to help our children cope with this tragedy. I know that I will try my best to use these tactics with my children. It helps to know there is something I can do to help them through this.
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I believe divorce affects children of all ages--there is no age at which a child is not negatively impacted. I find it hard to believe any study would come to the conclusion that there was an insignificant impact. It's up to the parents to make the transition easier for their children. The parents need to act like grown ups.
ReplyDeleteActually many of the studies I have come across while doing my research suggest there is an insignificant impact on the children of divorce, especially in girls. I found that to be quite surprising too, but the study done by Judith Wallerstein was one of the few that showed any evidence of how the children struggled after the divorce. I agree with you that it is the parents responsibility to try and make the transition easier on their kids, but I also have been through a divorce and when there is so much resentment and such between you, it is easier said than done. Just take a little time to get focused, in my opinion. But thankfully my kids and I are doing quite well now.
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